Tuesday, August 07, 2007



依然是伤感。

今天好朋友豆豆问我年底要不要去黄山, 一时之间在说说黄山景色的时候就傻掉了。 又想起了那一年到黄山去玩的一切。 哇, 好怀念唷。 原来原来, 自己也有自己怀念的事情, 也有自己想要回去的过去。 想想看, 应该也只有那一次是充满怀念的, 也只有那一次是真真的想要回去。 也许是你笑的幅度和我很象, 也许是守护的星座和我一样。 也许, 只是因为那时还小吧。 后来的, 来来去去之余, 一个接着一个之际, 都已经忘记了为什么会那么开心, 也早已忘了最后是怎样结束。 模模糊糊就好像这几个星期在医院里一样, 你如果问我见了怎样的病人, 得到怎样的启发, 相信了什么信仰, 我只能告诉你: 不知道。 默默无闻, 好像哑巴一样。 如果你问我的是今年会不会去黄山, 我觉得可能性应该是蛮小吧。

对了, 今天其实是开心的一天。 我考到驾驶执照满一年了! 这一年来, 可以说是毫无惊险, 和和气气, 平平安安。 因为考到之后我都没车可以开!! 其实也不是没想过, 去租一辆车来开开, 顺便可以载人去兜兜风, 也不能永远坐别人的车嘛。 可是, 东西往往就是这样子, 生命中没有的, 对我来说就不会有需求。 我还是可以很开心的搭我的巴士, 坐你的车, 住我的组屋, 相信我的关音妈。 真的真的, 我继续这个样子应该就会很开心吧。

我发现我从来都很少去想自己以前所做的选择对不对。 也许根本就没有什么好去想的吧。 过去的决定不能换, 现在的自己开不开心才重要。 现在如果不开心, 那就做一个能让自己开心的选择啦。 谁又要去管他过去的选择让我现在开不开心。 这些东西, 都是我渐渐的改变, 以前的我应为也会为一些事情感到难过吧, 其实现在的我还是会。 只是我现在的感情起伏没那么大吧, 比较麻痹。

我觉得女孩子真的要聪明才好。 真的真的要很聪明, 很有心眼儿, 很有想法, 很鬼精灵才好。 所谓的聪明, 不是在说那种聪明, 是怎样的聪明我也说不上来。 就是那种聪明和那种就算是聪明也不一定会有的气质, 还有那种眼色加在一起。 气质, 和聪明的气质有什么分别呢, 也许只是因为我觉得你很漂亮, 又很聪明, 所以才这样说吧。 你去到处看一看,也许就会看到我所谓的好看女孩子。 噢, 注意一下, 你就会看到桂纶美。

I周刊对她的评语是这样的"<蓝色大门>时初见桂纶美, 已很惊艳。 五年后, <不能说的,秘密>气质依旧。 不是典型艳丽美女, 清雅脱俗, 连眨眼吐舌头也不觉得在扮可爱, 就是自自然然地。" 我有看到广告里她吐舌头笑笑扮美美使眼色的镜头, 一直在想好像觉得她长得好熟悉。 后来后来, 真的想起她长得象我认识的谁了, 只是感觉不一样。 咦, 感觉不一样? 我看人不都是凭感觉的吗? 如果感觉真的不一样, 那真的只是长得象而已。 我认识的那个谁, 其实也长得不是很象嘛。 又从头想了一下才知道, 那些神情, 都是你呀。

[外加] 我太懒惰了啦。 懒得用脑, 懒得去想。 不应该, 是我想得不够。 不应该, 是我反应还不够快。

干杯!
阳。

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8/07/2007 11:17:00 PM







Sunday, June 24, 2007



Being a bad bad bad.

Well. This few days had been bad. B is for Bad in everything. A is for bAd in everything. D is for baD in everything. So, BAD means BAD in everything. Waha. Sounds so silly-lily depressed. Obvious Lee. Haha.

Most important reason is ownself stuck inside 无可救药. Ownself forgets what is reality, demands imaginary, and is affected by what other people say. So in the end, reality can never be matched with imaginary, what other people say is still only what other people say (pui!), unless its what you say yourself. Counting my blessings, saying my prayers (南无阿弥陀佛), praising the glory (ohhhhhhh~), witnessing the grace that things are still "ownself stuck inside 无可救药", nobody affected, nobody hurt. Except, just the few who I 发牢骚 on and at the end of this post still doesnt know what had happened. Nothing had happened in actual fact, its just me, don't bother, thanks for concerns and being around, because there's not much other person to talk to.

Glad to just realise I still had such tremendous exciting emotions (really did I? Maybe just that I did but did not show, but I got scared from nightmares too), reminds me of some lyrics, hm I can't seem to have a good impression of the whole song, but nevermind, next time better time. So, still not so old yet. Still can have adventures, adrenaline and advancements. Hurhur. Yay! I am in year3 already! Wait for me!

So yea, as the whole true truth tells me that if one don't save oneself, then thats it. Ohwell, some people say that things are easy to say, yet hard to do. But well, that true truth, is hopefully, one of the easiest way to do things. So since school is reopening soon, I shall start to motivate myself and keep things on the ball, no more waiting for other people's sms, no more waiting for other people's call, no more waiting for other people's email, no more waiting for other people to smile at me, no more get lost all you doctors, I shall bug u all first, Wahahaha.

I guess being on the waiting end for the whole of my life had a very bad effect on me as a person. Waiting for bus to come, waiting for teacher to come, waiting for food to be cooked, waiting for holz to come, waiting for friends to play with me, waiting for the best opportunity, waiting for my turn, waiting for people to fetch me, waiting for other people to smile at me, waiting for lift, waiting for a life to come. Being on the waiting end for the whole of my life meant that, I know and am used to what it is like to be waiting, and, I can wait. But on the flip side, I don't know what it is like to be on the being waited side, and had no experience at all to treat someone waiting. So sorry.

The good about blogging and about interviews are that, they force you to sit down and think about things, suddenly. For the split second, what is the most important will come out, what will never happen will die down.

Yep I am in year3 already, wait for me will you?

Cheers!
Yang =)

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6/24/2007 12:45:00 AM







Friday, March 30, 2007



Wah smart.

I think my predictions from yesterday were super accurate. I am getting smarter liao. Things are under my control liao. Back to my control. Level up liao. Can score another ten million exp and upgrade to grandmaster fortune teller liao. Seh.

Not bad mah, astrology for today from the straits times is accurate too. But. I am better, you are one zillion exp away from my level. Sheesh. Angsty.

Your instincts about someone new on the scene are correct. But stay quiet for now.

Don't lose heart if some recent adventures haven't turned out quite as you'd hoped. Instead, shake off some of that weight pressing down on your shoulders. It's time to appreciate all you've learned.

Yep. Sheesh. Save me from making a choice. Thanks. I am glad. And thankful.

Cheers!
Yang =)

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3/30/2007 10:30:00 PM







Monday, March 26, 2007



noidunwandunuunderstand???

我觉得我的nick应该是很明显吧。 至少对看到了的人来说。 真不敢相信一切又如自己想像这样发展。 一切自己不要的又一再发生。 真是自导自演的悲剧呀! 可悲的是,自己,真的不知道要怎样走下去。 是有路走的,但是是自己想要的路吗。 子谦说得真对。

自己似乎又多一个兄弟了。 真是这样那也还好。 如果不然,那那那。。教我如何是好?

Cheers!
Yang =)

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3/26/2007 09:34:00 PM







Thursday, March 08, 2007



My favourite song for now.



Today was the last CA paper. Microbiology. Darn. Groping in MarkTaylorLand for so long, finally see a little bit of light coming in. I am still so lost. Everyone is still so lost. Hope something can be done. Something will be done. Me no sitting duck.

In the next piece of news, today I went with some guys to sing song at teoheng ktv! Haha, thats like how fun I had been wanting to go for so long. Yep, there's so many songs which I had been listening to over and over again during studying and I so much want to sing them. The mv above is one of them. I am just like so happy to go teoheng. 6 bucks for 6 hours of singing, that is like how cool, and how fun. Haha. Happified.

In the next piece of news, actually today is not a happy day because of some other stuffs. Of course not expecting to do well in microbiology is one of the reasons. Was talking to friend A and friend W just now. Realised some stuffs. And thought about certain other stuffs. True, true what you all said is really true. Glad also that I had learnt something today. Thought alot throughout the day. Life is just so. Things are just so. Indefinite. I don't like. I don't like what I am best in. Its a headache. Headache from doing what I enjoy. I don't like indefinity. I like flexibility. Transcient. How.

Cheers!
Yang=)

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3/08/2007 11:41:00 PM