This is what I told all my friends. From now on, im fighting in a whole new different level, whole new different arena, whole new world. Nothing ever is familiar. Nothing ever had been done or passed by before. Everything is a new experience that deserves to be mentioned and remembered. N this fight is for forever, forever fighting different bosses, avoiding all the bobby traps, not to be hypnotised, finding the right balance, searching for the correct paths, hitting on it right the first time, forever struggling to maintain this relationship. But im enjoying this ALL the moment. TOTALLY.
It is great, to know that she is understanding, to know that she is ready to fight with me together, to give chance no matter how shitty it is, and its just great.
There are many many things to do. Many many things to sort out, many many wishes to direct to. But lets just work them out one by one, one at a time, one and many going concurrently, and hopefully things will get better from here. Short term goal. Mid way goal. Long term goal. Look at the different perspectives and tell yourself what you really want. Then you will get it.
Well. This few days had been bad. B is for Bad in everything. A is for bAd in everything. D is for baD in everything. So, BAD means BAD in everything. Waha. Sounds so silly-lily depressed. Obvious Lee. Haha.
Most important reason is ownself stuck inside 无可救药. Ownself forgets what is reality, demands imaginary, and is affected by what other people say. So in the end, reality can never be matched with imaginary, what other people say is still only what other people say (pui!), unless its what you say yourself. Counting my blessings, saying my prayers (南无阿弥陀佛), praising the glory (ohhhhhhh~), witnessing the grace that things are still "ownself stuck inside 无可救药", nobody affected, nobody hurt. Except, just the few who I 发牢骚 on and at the end of this post still doesnt know what had happened. Nothing had happened in actual fact, its just me, don't bother, thanks for concerns and being around, because there's not much other person to talk to.
Glad to just realise I still had such tremendous exciting emotions (really did I? Maybe just that I did but did not show, but I got scared from nightmares too), reminds me of some lyrics, hm I can't seem to have a good impression of the whole song, but nevermind, next time better time. So, still not so old yet. Still can have adventures, adrenaline and advancements. Hurhur. Yay! I am in year3 already! Wait for me!
So yea, as the whole true truth tells me that if one don't save oneself, then thats it. Ohwell, some people say that things are easy to say, yet hard to do. But well, that true truth, is hopefully, one of the easiest way to do things. So since school is reopening soon, I shall start to motivate myself and keep things on the ball, no more waiting for other people's sms, no more waiting for other people's call, no more waiting for other people's email, no more waiting for other people to smile at me, no more get lost all you doctors, I shall bug u all first, Wahahaha.
I guess being on the waiting end for the whole of my life had a very bad effect on me as a person. Waiting for bus to come, waiting for teacher to come, waiting for food to be cooked, waiting for holz to come, waiting for friends to play with me, waiting for the best opportunity, waiting for my turn, waiting for people to fetch me, waiting for other people to smile at me, waiting for lift, waiting for a life to come. Being on the waiting end for the whole of my life meant that, I know and am used to what it is like to be waiting, and, I can wait. But on the flip side, I don't know what it is like to be on the being waited side, and had no experience at all to treat someone waiting. So sorry.
The good about blogging and about interviews are that, they force you to sit down and think about things, suddenly. For the split second, what is the most important will come out, what will never happen will die down.
The Serenity Prayer
God,
give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things that should be changed,
and the wisdom
to distinguish the one from the other.
Can't believe how I start to like this song. At first I thought it was an okay song. Until I sang it at teo heng. Wah seh. Till the chorus part. I was so touched by the song. The lyrics is so so so nice. The melody is so so so nice. I sang so so so well. Im so so so touched. Hurhurz.
像孩子依赖著肩膀
像眼泪依赖著脸庞
像诗人依赖著月亮
像海豚依赖海洋
Then I realised that I should be grateful. To be grateful for the so many angels in my life. Cant believe that there's so so so many of you for me to depend on. Thanks. To be grateful to the so many things that happened in my life that I had done nothing to have them. Absolutely nothing. Everything was given at no request for return. Can't believe it, but please don't take them back. Thanks.
Can't believe also how easily my morale is boosted. As in, how blessed am I to have my morale boosted. For 2 minutes yesterday, and 30 seconds today, I just nua-ed off, can't believe it. Ok that does not sound too morale boosting. In any sense, am grateful no matter what, will work hard for my MB. Boo. Of course, it won't be special if its for too long. Thanks for making it so perfect.
黄城唷,WOOH!我们的黄城,永远矗立,坚定不移。
华初唷,华初! 我们的华初,华初,华初,肩负重任,百年树人。
Can't believe it, its been so many years since my performance and the realising of my dreams. Performing for the greatest school-based Chinese drama ever and performance in Victoria Theatre. I mean, after your dream is realised, what else can you asked for. Hm. And realising that I actually, did not very much deserve to realise my dream, makes me feel very sad and at the same time grateful. Grateful that I have such a fulfilled life. And there's so many angels (aka gui4 ren2), and now I am in medicine. Wah. So much so much. I can't ask for more. I can only ask myself to work very very hard, so that I will not disappoint any of you angels, and become a good man.
When you ask anything from someone, ask yourself how much have you done to deserve that. That includes love. Angels in life are everywhere, you can be one of them. Ask from yourself, and you will get what you want. If you can imagine it, you can do it.