Well. This few days had been bad. B is for Bad in everything. A is for bAd in everything. D is for baD in everything. So, BAD means BAD in everything. Waha. Sounds so silly-lily depressed. Obvious Lee. Haha.
Most important reason is ownself stuck inside 无可救药. Ownself forgets what is reality, demands imaginary, and is affected by what other people say. So in the end, reality can never be matched with imaginary, what other people say is still only what other people say (pui!), unless its what you say yourself. Counting my blessings, saying my prayers (南无阿弥陀佛), praising the glory (ohhhhhhh~), witnessing the grace that things are still "ownself stuck inside 无可救药", nobody affected, nobody hurt. Except, just the few who I 发牢骚 on and at the end of this post still doesnt know what had happened. Nothing had happened in actual fact, its just me, don't bother, thanks for concerns and being around, because there's not much other person to talk to.
Glad to just realise I still had such tremendous exciting emotions (really did I? Maybe just that I did but did not show, but I got scared from nightmares too), reminds me of some lyrics, hm I can't seem to have a good impression of the whole song, but nevermind, next time better time. So, still not so old yet. Still can have adventures, adrenaline and advancements. Hurhur. Yay! I am in year3 already! Wait for me!
So yea, as the whole true truth tells me that if one don't save oneself, then thats it. Ohwell, some people say that things are easy to say, yet hard to do. But well, that true truth, is hopefully, one of the easiest way to do things. So since school is reopening soon, I shall start to motivate myself and keep things on the ball, no more waiting for other people's sms, no more waiting for other people's call, no more waiting for other people's email, no more waiting for other people to smile at me, no more get lost all you doctors, I shall bug u all first, Wahahaha.
I guess being on the waiting end for the whole of my life had a very bad effect on me as a person. Waiting for bus to come, waiting for teacher to come, waiting for food to be cooked, waiting for holz to come, waiting for friends to play with me, waiting for the best opportunity, waiting for my turn, waiting for people to fetch me, waiting for other people to smile at me, waiting for lift, waiting for a life to come. Being on the waiting end for the whole of my life meant that, I know and am used to what it is like to be waiting, and, I can wait. But on the flip side, I don't know what it is like to be on the being waited side, and had no experience at all to treat someone waiting. So sorry.
The good about blogging and about interviews are that, they force you to sit down and think about things, suddenly. For the split second, what is the most important will come out, what will never happen will die down.
Was watching 天使情人. Wahrhaooowww. I really pity the 老实 guy. I mean. I really pity that guy who seems like me. Booo. Like he can be like me just stone there and pity himself and feel helpless and is helpless and had no idea no personality no nothing never anything at all. Wahraoowwww. Blargh. Why ah. Why ah. Why ah. Ok lah I know why but its just, why izzit me to be liddat. I want to watch the next episode and see what will happen to him. I mean. 明道 is a 老实 guy also. But just. Well. I pity guys who are like me. I pity me. Ohwell. Partly is because 帅就赢. Thats partly of course don't worry. Haiz. I think what friend C says is correct. He mentioned that, its not only going along with, but its also showing the way. Its always a two way thing, on the whole, and on my part. Hm. I am starting to understand. Hm.
How to, may I ask, how to do it? 须得深得民心。 How to do that? How to be able to 观察入微， 支字片语之间， 杀人于无形? Hm.
Random blog post reading reminds me of the word 豪迈. I want to be 豪迈, but its just, so so so so many things accumulate together. The same thing, 豪迈 or not, is not just about being it.