Remember this girl, this song and this wonderful rendition?
Was looking through the MVs that I collected and happened to watch it. Reminds me of the good old times watching kelly sings song and how sinhuey will grow prettier and better. How different are they now! Will I become so different the next time when I start working? Technically more mature but less close to heart?
Its no doubt that I still have trouble with the song. Its like a love hate affair with it. Once I love it so much because its such a nice song, and can so much relate to it. Relate to me, at the same time chao2 xiao4 me. Later it became so unfriendly to me, like for years it kept on laughing at my sad sad state, and make me so ever sad. Though its the best song for me now (not really best now, but zuo you wu shi can sing), but its still not within me that I can accept it. Its just me as you can see, like lets say if someone rejects me, and if I can't accept/recognise/find where we are supposed to go, I will tend to have the same trouble with the person. I won't know what to do with it, and I will run away from it at all cost. Please bear with me, lesser of these instances these days because 1)I don't biao bai for the past 4 yrs alr, 2)I am becoming more mature with things.
Though I have no experience at all, but I suppose I must exercise maturity, for the benefit of myself, and to meet the expectations of all those who had experiences. Having no experiences is not a good excuse that I can do a bad job, just like being young, I had learnt that lesson from CSFC. Muahahahaha.
Was running. At the end of it, exhausted at the weakest point physically yet the strongest point mentally to defy all that go against me. Then 孙燕姿 - 我怀念的 came on 933. I can only say that she is really good in this kind of songs, cant think of another singer to take on this song and the so many others that I love so much. 这么多地感动, 多么的激动。 Its just her, to put the tune and the lyrics and the everything together so well. The music is good, the lyrics is good, the everything is good, but its her, who has the goodness to do it. Yep. Reminds me of the many others who are known to be good in something, yet are also so much so good in all the others. Its the human factor, the factor that I strive, strive to become the hot knife in butter.
So here's the song, for you to listen, that touched me again and again like the good jokes that made people laugh again and again, maybe, its the person factor too. No lyrics this time. I think for yanzi's songs, its really how she does it, to have 轻重音, at the end of it, you will hear whats important in the song, the critical 转音s as well as the important words, and what you want to hear, making the beautiful touching effects and sweet. Actually wanted to put the mv, but I realised, the best way is to close your eyes and listen. Let your own mv form in you.
I like the part "谁 记得". Not exceptionally, but just a part that I like in a unique way. This line has an unique form of sadness, and lost of control.
I wonder why. Why I will feel the touch and 激动 when I listen. I was watching the mv, and realised, that I had never been through any of those, any of these, any of which, those "我怀念的" things. I also wonder what kind of mv had formed within me, just my imaginations, nothing ever happened. Its just my 诗人的情怀.
Was randomly reading a blog. I agree with alot of things that you said, I can see that how all these can be all true, and how can I sit within it and receive comfort. I can also see how can I put my whole life into it and yet sorting a best way through everything. The best way. Im taking the best way. That I agree with you, but it is not in this life that I will conform, I do my part for you, yet its just me, that I like to 逆天而行。 Its just me. I am still learning, maybe one day, the road that I take leads me back to you. Maybe, its just like, how I would so much to get attached, yet, what am I doing I am totally aware will only bring me further and further, until, someday that it leads me back to you.
12 days of holz (well Christmas is not here yet)
I guess its not right not to blog anything about my short holiday stint before my preclinicals. Furthermore, it was one of the most exciting, refreshing and intense holidays. I felt blissed. Ohwell, except for the fact that I did not have any internet until yesterday, otherwise perfect.
Watched nada sou sou on last Thursday. I guess there's just so many things to think about, when there are so many things which I can link to my life now. But of course, not during the show, mainly after that. Conclusion is that, I am just glad with what I have now, and if life makes it this way for me, then this way will be the best for me. I have the ability to make a difference, and now I know which is those I should make a difference.
Argentina Tango dance class on Thursday. I guess I am the traditional conservative type. Was simply red-flushed-faced-menopausal-like-not-but-testosterone-charged when dancing. But I welcome the new experience. But I guess to go for it further or not depends also on the flow of things, from what I see now, I guess nope. It was a really really good experience, something which I guess until the next hotter dancer comes about, will never be forgotten. I still think having a class with outside people is good, because that will make everyone capable of becoming a teacher. Everyone is a teacher, an old but newly made conscious idea, hmm. In any case pay so little for so much friends and teacher, zhuan dao liao!
Sleep deprivation caffeine study from Friday to Tuesday. I guess this is one of those things which I can list down as one of the most memorable events in my life. Firstly, made 2 new good friends, Kevin Kok and Yi Kang. Its not that I don't know them, but its just that its my 1st nature to ignore people I never had the chance to talk to. So I am really really glad that this event made us friends, cheers to more years of playing settlers of Catan! Hurhur. Woo I realized that settlers is such an addictive and nice game to play, next time shall play it again at the settler's cafe. Haha. Gian. Anyway, all of us talked alot during the thing, and I got to know more about myself, my inadequates (as usual) and alot more. I guess THAT was just for pure fun, nothing intense or hurting meant, haha. Thanks guys.
Secondly, I learnt alot during the sleep deprivation period. I had first hand experience of how people work, deteriorate and whats the best and worst of people. Thats by observing other people. For myself, it was a period of almost going into madness. Its like being drunk at some point in time. At first, I can hear normally, then, I start to hear everything at the same amplitude, ie I am unable to differentiate between what is important to me and what is just background noise. Then I can't hear anything, including what is spoken directly to me, everything just turned into background noise, distant and muted. And come lastly everything just collapse and I turned into a panic state because I simply cant connect myself to the world. Lucky for me, things did not go further worse, otherwise I wont be here to type things. It goes the same with the thinking function, and the motor function. I guess at some point in time, I was able to sleep with my eyes open. Hmm.
Throughout the study, especially at the most critical time, I kept on recurring what you had said, that its amazing what people can do for money. We both saw it in nada sou sou, however untrue it seems, that people, really, can put in alot alot alot just for the sake of money, and its not a spur of rashness, but its something that can last for a very long time. Until, until when everything comes to a stop. Thats when money, is not important anymore. But before that, there's so much things that we need to juggle, and money, turns us into slaves so things can flow as we wanted. Random words again.
Ohyah, during the study, one song became meaningful in my life because of its participation in it. "In the morning, dudodudodudodududu. "
Handroll for breakfast! Chup Chye for lunch and dinner, yucks. Super rings rocks!! Cup noodles for supper. I kind of missed mian chum chum, haha.
I also learnt about the gold standard in functional testing. Wah that is just so sleep inducing and one of the most boring things I had ever seen. Settlers of Catan should be a better gauge of prefrontal function.
Wu niang did not appear despite my plea for it. Chiobus was there, but just for entertainment and morale-boosting sake. I guess its time to stop being childish, everyone needs something to survive for. I look out for my own happiness. And as someone roared to me, happiness is mine!
First hand watched babysitter juggling 8 kids. Haha. Thats kinda fun considering who is the babysitter. Don't be stupid lah, sometimes, just abit of cooperation from everyone makes everyone's life easier, and the money more worth it. I learnt that in a peaceful manner.
Maybe got more about the study, but things seem like a dream and went passed. Hence could not write more about it. Heehee paiseh will write more if I can think of.
Phantom of the Opera on Tuesday. We ate at NYDC to celebrate weilei's birthday before that. I like the food there, its rather nice, but I guess its time for me to move on, because the thing now is eating at NYDC saves money, and I remembered of the first time when I ate at NYDC, I thought it was super ex. After that was in the esplanade, saw a few old people. I like the show very much!! I love the set!! I love the candles that comes out from nowhere! I love the dry ice that knows where to settle down and not flood the whole stage!! I love the boat!! I love the stair and the masquerade!! I love how they huan4 chang3!! Simply love it the way that they make props and set so nice!! I love the stage too, it reflects perfectly when light is shined from top down!! Oh I love the stars and the city scene when the two characters are heyheying!! I love the music!! I love the songs!! I love the ballet dancers!! I love the clothes!! I love the elephant that comes out in the first scene!! I love the bridge!! Ohman. It was amazing, and considering its the first time for me to watch a professional production, I simply love it. I know why once again I love the stage and drama so much. There's just simply so much dreams, hopes, effects, love and showmanship which I love. And for 52 bucks, I love it. Muacks!
Running and gym on Wed. Exercise rocks! Frees me from all the earthly thinkings and makes me a free-er person.
Was on this project on Thursday. It was my dream in RI to do alot of it. But I guess, for the path that I had picked for myself, and life helped me in doing so, I guess, I can still do alot of it. I want to do it!! But, not as how others are doing it.
Went to guanyimma temple on Friday. I was really confused about two things. For one of them, the answer was to look for it is like being in the sea without a compass, which is simply one word, lost. And to look for the compass, is like looking for a needle in the sea, one word again, lost. So doubly lost. Doubly confused. The point being, to control something that is doubly lost makes you even more lost, triply lost. For things that can't be done anything about, simply let it go and things will fall in place nicely the next time when you look at it. Hopefully.
For the other one, when things are thought through and nicely planned, simply press the auto mode and let things work their way out. Some unexpected matters might occur along the way, but thats none for you to know now. For now, if you feel that you already did what you can and had put in your best for the future, simply let it go and things will fall in place nicely the next time when you look at it. Hopefully.
Two things confused, two sayings, one conclusion, how easy things can be!
For the rest of Friday, read the alchemist. I guess its my type of book. I will write something like that if I have the time. The ideas in it aligns with mine quite well, but no I am not going to turn myself into the wind nor talk to the hand that writes all these. I mean, I know what the idea in the book is trying to say, and somehow somewhat, I kind of think in that way too. I am weird and maybe a freak.
Sat was bball and soccer at hwachong double whammy. Now thats what I call non-stop action! Weak-end warriors!! I mean week-end warriors!! It sounds good exercise rocks and friendship is good. After what you said, I start to think about things in a different light, yes what you said is true, true-er than mine, but I am a simple person who have simpler goals, so let me be. Another thing that happened is me making myself happy. No I never play chess for quite long already.
Sunday is today. I can make it happier. 7am in school tmr, earliest ever man.