Monday, December 13, 2010
忽然之间。
刚刚品读了蔡康永先生的文章， 有所感触。 又偷偷去看了上一篇自己写的东东。 现在想起来。 好浪漫， 却也好无知。 路走到了这里。 好像没有什么路走了。 但是我。 但是我。 但是我。 还是想这样子走下去。 虽然这样子， 对任何人来说， 都是亏大了。
我对此刻的建议是：坐下深呼吸,闭目回想当初这爱降临时,其实也是何等的不明白没道理。
爱情离开时。 就像爱情降落时。 这也就是爱情。 也就是爱情过后。
随你开心吧。
又要到处去流浪了。
12/13/2010 09:10:00 PM
Thursday, April 22, 2010 Labels: 2010, good fwens who scold me, MV, song lyrics, travel, 此生阿~, 流浪
JAMBO AFRIKAA!!
This had been the most challenging, most tiring, most shag, most miss home, most 迷失自己 yet most eye opening, most gained mentally and spiritually, most 找回自己 backpacking trip. One word to describe it: peer-less.
Start
The whole trip started off with the cheapskate gang wanting to save on 400 bucks so we landed in Nairobi, Kenya instead of going straight into Tanzania, and at the same time favourable because my xiao gu happened to be studying psychology in university in nairobi, and because of her participation in church activities there, she is in charge of a large compound which was luckily empty on the nights that we stayed in. So everything in the world lined up properly for us to land in nairobi.
Just to note, the flight from Singapore to Doha was the MOST CHILDISH airline!!! of course having seating arrangements that is in columns instead of rows did not help very much. i was asked to change my seat so that an angmo couple can sit together, and in so doing was sitting in close proximity to AML cripz. Waha!
Doha is an experience which shall be elaborated later.
Nairobi
Nairobi is quite a scary place. Heard that there's alot of robbery. Please do not travel outside after sunset. Nothing bad happened to us, we were really careful. Every landed property is heavily fenced and barbwired and has security with gun! this includes the foryu chinese restaurant. Wow. Well. We did not really go see the slums, only the richer parts of nairobi, and went to the supermarket and places that expats go. Well. Expensive. Hm. Its nice of xiao gu to accomodate us, and she is really a very good host, I dont host well, need to learn more.
Moshi
Epic bus ride that lasted 10 hours. In this trip the word epic will be used many many times, many many times. Hurhur. come some pics.
Nothing much to say about this bus ride, jus that when u get into tanzania u can feel the difference, the massai pple start coming out in bunches hahaha. Massai training school. hahaha.
Moshi is this small place that is near kilimanjaro, the roof of africa. This, together with Arusha, are two sites where people attack kili from. Haha. We stayed in buffalo hotel in Moshi, and we patronise the indo-italian restaurant opposite every night, nice pizza and nice spags, and nice everything, happy. The mama shop opposite buffalo should be in lonely planet oso, just to make the experience complete. Buffalo was quite an experience, loads of mites and insects, first time i used mosquito net, hahaha. Breakfast was another poleh poleh experience. And ofcus, the black face. waha.
Later we went to eat local foods with the guides, ugali was stopped at 2nd try, there's a chagas' dish that make use of unriped banana, this is very interesting dish, and very nice diblo dish later. hahahaha.
Kili
This is kilimanjaro, dun really think it shows the peak that we wanted to attack, but get a few of the iceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...this picture was taken at the shira camp. We took a 7 day machame route, which makes us much better in acclimatization to get to the peak. Well. i din lah. Haha. The route towards machame camp = SHAG! its mainly rainforest. yep. u jus keep walking, keep walking, keep walking, then there's this clearing area......and a sign that says no smoking..and turn a round and yea its the camp. Haha. SHAG.
The second camp is called Shira camp. I can only describe walking there in one word = SHAG. I cant remember much about walking there, besides...its jus alot of stones..kinda little vegetation..everywhere is everlasting love..SHAG..
the look of clouds from shira camp. hahahaha!
Then its SHAG time! After breakfast in shira camp, we went for a long walk..walk..walk..walk..walk..walk..everlasting love..walk..walk..walk..walk..翻越了千山万水， 我也要找到你呀。。。then after tt some of us decided to attack the lava tower..wahhhhh..wahhhh..wahhhh..wahhhh..wahhhh..ok walk upwards is someday will reach there..wads after tt is most exciting!!..we started to follow this trail of water downwards..jump! jump! jump! jump! jump! later we realised..we were jumping down along a waterfall..wahbiangzzzzzzzzzzzz!!:) Then we finally reached Barangu camp.
After breakfast is even more exciting!! Cos we attacked the breakfast wall!! this was when it really really felt like mountain climbing..i was kinda happy tt i had some mountain climbing exp in RI..but regretted not doing more..well..this is the REAL fun..hahaha jus imagine your eyes looking at the only place where u can step..if u cant step on it, then thats it..and if u look at the other places..tts the end..only 1 step at a time..tts how FUN it is! haha lucky i din die. bleagh.
then after that much more walking along the moon-like surface..walk walk walk walk finally we reached THE BARAFU camp..where the wind blows like freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..Its damn cold..damn windy (we were eating in the tent and the tent was almost blown away)..and i vomitted like freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..wah i nv had my stomach churn and squeeze every single drop of hcl out before..SHAG FUCK!
2am at BARAFU camp, we started on the journey to attack the peak.
手牵手
一步两步三步四步
望著天 看星星
一颗两颗三颗四颗 连成线
背著背默默许下心愿
看远方的星星否听的见
看远方的星如果听的见
它一定实现
I wish..i wish..i wish I PASS MBBS!!!!!
Stella Point is where i end.
hahaha i look qt fat here..bleagh..
Reached stella point at around 1130, by that time the other guys were already attacking Uhuru peak..so din go with them..well..its alright..cos after that is really WTF.
为什么没有人跟我说下山比上山难?!?!?!?!
I think its just because i got too shagged out from climbing up..and my body totally broke down after coming down..bleagh..
Serengeti
Serengeti in swahili means "endless plains"..indeed..after hanging out 3 days in it..we only managed to cover a small area only..indeed endless..the timing that we visit is one of the most boring seasons..not only there's v little tourist around..there's v little movement around..but thanks to good grace we managed to see all the big 5s!:)
Well jus in case you din noe wads the big 5..they are namely..leopard/cheetah, lion, water buffalo, elephant, rhino!!:) haha! Other things we saw are namely giraffes, gazelle, impalas, wilderbeast, mehmehs etc etc etc....and honeymoon lions ROAR!!
Ngorongoro crater
Ngorongoro crater is this roundish crater that was formed after the eruption of a mountain that was thought to be greater than kilimanjaro..it is really a 世外桃园， 人间仙境。 damn good. damn good. animals that come in forgot about going out. plants that come in. thrive. i finally got to understand wad it means by 桃花源。
Subsequently we went to Lake Maryana, wahlan eh the van got stuck. it got stuck. stuck. stuck in a mud pool that was deceptively shallow. well. luckily got fwenly pple driving van to help us pull our van out of deep shit. its really deep shit. hehe.
can u see the change in color in distance..thats the lake extending into infinity..终于和天在地平线交会。
ohohoh..running hippo is one of the most cute things on earth. thats assuming they are running away from you in a distance. well. most scary if its running towards u. Hohoho.
during the trip..i alws wonder why the clouds in africa seems to be more lazy than usual..look at them..they seem to be lingering at a lower altitude than those in singapore..and they linger so lazily..so lazily..poleh poleh..there's no rush in afrika!
Zanzibar
Wah the ship ride to zanzibar island cos 70USD!!! CHOR++++..but i dun regret going..hahaha we went to stay in kendwa..and it really ROCKS! jus that the weather is abit the chuis..
kendwa waters are quite good..but qy says that philipines are better..and cheaper..ofcus..hahaha snorkelling was a good experience..and we saw dolphins! whee!!!
Rest of the trip
In between the many places we shuttle using buses, which are bearable yet unbearable sometimes. there's alws a constant need to hide myself away from the sun to prevent sunburnt. and some of the movies shown along the way really make me laugh. like. not farnie. haha. movies like yellow banana expectation (with the ultra violent rays) and point of no return 2..really hilarious. wow.
doha is just nothing much to do there. ha.
the food in africa is rather interesting. ugali is made of corn flour and is this thing that resembles our satay rice..makes u very very full..comes with nice sauce tho..but i dun really fancy it..there's oso rice..and bread..and this chagas' food which they use unriped banana which i had a hand in trying to peel it..haha qt hard..but interesting..shld haf tou shi abit from diblo..the last night dinner was superb!
during this trip..i also thought about alot of things..i thot about the past relationship..which is already so distant so far..i thot about my ambition..which is on the way of brewing..i thot about my life..which can definitely be better..and i thot about the next 5 years..and settled it..:)
All in all, trip to africa had been a great eye opener..and i did things that i never had imagined myself doing..and dun really imagine i will be doing them in the future..haha..which is good issnt it? for now.:)
Full of mayday in my trip!:)
Cheers!
Yang
right from the start
At this point in time..i wld like to bring time back to the very start of the trip..even before the trip was planned..even before the pple visioned the trip..when i started earning the money that i spent for the trip..for this 3 wks..i spent almost 5.3k sing..this is a very large sum of money to me and i am totally broke now..but i wld jus like to say a very big thank you..even if you dunno its you..thank you to you for directly and indirectly make this trip ever possible..if not becos of you..your help, your encouragement, your understanding, your presence, your support, your scoldings, your love and your leaving..i wld haf not been able to soar..
and jus something that i had wanted to blog but leave it till the end. well. i realised for the first time in my life during this trip that i nid someone to control me..there were 2 significant fwens in my life who had made great difference in my life..and both had scolded me for some reason or another all my foolishness..well..i had more good fwens..but jus these two who really made deep impression in me.............i wonder...
4/22/2010 06:13:00 PM
Saturday, November 22, 2008 Labels: Patience, Random words., 流浪
恢复元气..
我， 就快要恢复回自己了。 内伤， 就快要恢复了。
还是小鱼儿的话中听。
阳
11/22/2008 12:14:00 AM
Sunday, September 28, 2008 Labels: happy day, Patience, stupid thing i do, 流浪
今天的天气是云淡风轻.
三个月。
乐天知命， 好难哟。
乐天， 天乐?
知命， 知啥命?
换来心情好的一天。
原来， 这才是好心情。
此生最美的风景。
阳。
9/28/2008 05:26:00 PM
Saturday, August 02, 2008
后知后觉..
Today I was talking to Allen about many many things in life and random stuffs about our lifes. Naturally our conversation will involve our parallel yet intertwined life in RI. I did not realise this before. That for the past 6+ years, I had been missing out on so much. And I really missed them.
It occured to me during and after the conversation that for the past 6+ years, I really had left my life in RI behind. Whatever that I had done, whoever I know, things that really make me laugh, things that really make me smile now, are all disengaged and distanced from my life now. Its not a continuation, its more like an abrupt halt/stop/disrupt then everything starts all over again, staggered and no connection. It can even be said that those 4 wonderful years in RI had become a null in the past 6+ years.
Prior to talking to Allen, I was talking to Matthew in the afternoon. He asked me why I wanted to go HCJC and not RJC. I told him for a change in environment and I wanted to go TCHS in the first place. I told him there was no regret I had fun and integrated quite well. Well, I always thought I had done very well in doing so. But its a fine balance between accepting a new kind of life, or clinging to the old life, old friends that I used to have.
So for the purpose of my HuangCheng dream, and for the purpose of my missing out on TCHS life in the last 4 years, I went to HCJC happily to pursue things. Going forward. Trying my best forward. Looking forward. The past, it was the past already, it doesnt really matter, life goes on especially in view of a bright future. Thats when I felt for many many many years, that I had no roots.
Just like I will never talk to anyone about my army life. Because the route that I took was different from all the rest around me. I never talk about it. It seemed like I had never been through army. It was just empty at that stage. Same thing happened to my RI life. In HCJC, there were not much people to talk about the past that I had. The bonding memories, the shared experiences, the chicken drumstick from malay store, the bestest dining hall food in sec2, the cute bio teacher, and everything else. There was almost nobody to talk to about the many other experiences and the very special things we had for RI. I guess this is what they call the raffles journey, the raffles experience and the rafflesian spirit.
I guess I very much asked for it. That year, I bangseh-ed all my friends to go HCJC. Starting afresh with new friends in JC class. At the same time losing contacts with all old friends because they were all not beside me now and had new friends and new life. Its like we walked the same path here and got diverted. The route just issnt the same and the connections dropped. And gradually, its not only about losing contacts, I don't even know how to make connections with them. I feel awkward when I see the old buddies again, because I have not been in contact with them and don't know their latest news and how/where should I start talking from. I don't really have anyone, who had really stick by my side all these years. Hence, the wonderful memories in RI were lost, gone and null.
I felt very "no roots", that I am a 流浪者 wandering from here to there. No background everything behind me were lost. The most wonderful life in RI was lost just liddat. And I really miss those days. So for the many reasons of looking fwd, and nobody to hold on to the past, I lost those most wonderful days of growth. Luckily I picked them back today.
Thanks Allen for sparkling these thoughts. And thanks Wenbo for all these years of connection that I did not realise.
This is for the first time I really really really feel that I wanted to go RJC that year.
Yang =)
8/02/2008 03:01:00 AM
Thursday, February 07, 2008 Labels: 2008, CNY, happy day, huangchengyeyun, song lyrics, 流浪
大过年!!!
我觉得这个世界上再也没有一首更好笑的歌
"开封有个包青天...翻天鼠， 身轻如燕...."
怎么了， 你觉得不是很好笑吗? 相信我， 改天我找给你看， 这是世界上最好笑的歌了。
我很怀念这种笑法， 似乎只记得是在黄城里才有， 笑到肚子痛还要笑的笑。 笑到不行了， 还要继续搞笑， 还要继续演， 继续笑。 开心， 笑声， 和众人之间的默契是息息相关的。 也和众人的才气牵扯在一起。 笑声和力量， 借助他人的， 一层一层的叠叠叠， 越来越高， 无法自拔。 一群人就这样疯了。 这就是我最初想要进黄城的梦想吧。 就为了这舜间迸发的火花。 久违了，这瞬间迸发的火花。 可惜的是， 这样的我， 似乎离现在的我是越来越tmr远了。 我越来越冷静了。 我并没有怨言， 因为这是为了更靠近我的理想， 还有我和现实的妥协。 也许吧， 这两年我会这样过真的是因为我完完全全把演员这个角色丢出窗外了。 好想好想好想找回那种感觉哟。 只是斜一步我已来到不一样的海阔天空。 却开始在怀念那曾经拥有的辽阔天地。 我想聪明如我， 会有办法的。 我也开始更加了解自己了。 如果真的可以找到这样的一个人， 一个如此疯狂的人， 那也不枉绑住自己了。 演戏的是疯子， 一点都没错。
伟利说我最近好像很堕落颓废的样子。 我想一半是对的， 一半是他自己想的。 觉得很不痛快。 只有这么一点点。 应该是寂寞吧。
干杯!
阳
2/07/2008 02:03:00 AM
Saturday, August 11, 2007 Labels: Enough 2007, Random words., Smart., 流浪
似曾相识。
转着转着， 只觉得自己越转越快， 越转越快， 似乎就要逃离这个星球， 离开地球表面。 傍晚回家的时候还在想， 自己真的比较适合自己一个人吧。 想想看， 自己还是很不适合吧， 有许多需要做的事还没办法反应过来， 有许多自由还没有办法想像自己舍去它们。 今天早上起床， 头一句标题还就是"再次沉浸在自己一个人的消沉里"。 对于过去， 还是会沉浸， 还是会怀念， 还是会眷恋。 其实， 也是有道理的啦， 因为有因就有果。 有之前才会有以后。 如果没有"其实自己一个人少了很多没必要的麻烦"的理论， 也不会有后来的"两个人的世界不是一个人可以创造出来的"。 才知道， 其实到了这里， 也没走得多远， 道理这么多， 遇上了才全部错乱。 只是发觉， 自己转得太快了。 原来， 是防卫自己的心越来越紧了， 不再让自己多那多一秒的快乐， 以防备那多一秒的难过。 也不再让自己那多一秒的难过， 只怕下一秒还在难过。 所以， 起伏没有了， 快乐悲伤两避绝， 整个脑子， 大概整天都在为了这在努力， 才会这么累吧， 才会这么懒惰吧。 懒惰地去看身边的美好和欢笑， 懒惰去做回自己， 做回自己太辛苦了吧。 还是打转打滚比较容易吧。 跑龙套的没台词， 露露脸总不说话， 说好听看内心戏不欺场， 说难听没台词没深度不用想。
说真的， 如果老天要砸你， 那是再做怎么努力也是没有用的。 再怎么努力再怎么努力再怎么努力再怎么努力再怎么努力再怎么努力。 你再努力呀， 再耍宝呀， 再活泼呀， 再讲冷笑话呀， 再不说话呀。 不让你过就是不让你过， 不管你做了什么准备， 看准了什么良机， 佩戴了多少器具， 花费了多少银粮， 用了多少杀手， 就是做不到。 真的就是没法说个准的呀。 等啊， 老天慈悲。 给我一条路。 还好老天还有良心， 还没真的砸死我。 今天看了天使情人， 心沉下去又浮起来， 一句老话， 转得快呀!
想要开始掌握自己， 至少忽然间又想要去流浪了。 像那个时候一样， 一个人贴心的流浪。 只为自己想的。 其实， 一直都是自己想要的， 又何必， 又何必， 又何必， 牵扯上无辜的旁人呢?
我也发现， 其实自己对别人的态度是蛮受别人影响的。 本来对某人是还好的， 听了别人别人别人别人说的， 渐渐就会感同身受。 不好不好。 而且， 我觉得我一开始有这样的阶第是蛮明显的。 至少自己是这么觉得的， 脸臭臭的， 丑丑的， 愁愁的， 话也不说了。 不好不好不好。
干杯!!
阳
8/11/2007 01:44:00 AM